Sweet Parody
by Rational Lunacy
Summary: MAD WORLD REVAMP. NARUSASU AU.
1. Chapter 1

**Hur hur:** Um, so you know how anime's sometimes have revamped versions that come out later that are the same story only inherently better in darn near every aspect? This is Mad World's revamp. I lied. I wrote it, I couldn't help it. I hope you guy's like it cuz I do, hella.

**Sweet Parody**

Chapter 1 - Impossible

* * *

"Sasuke, come _on_, we need to get out of here!"

They'd found him, finally, after two years of training, after all the searching, they'd found him. Sakura, Sai, and Yamato were at his side. They'd cornered Sasuke in his private chambers within Orochimaru's base. It was cold, almost frigid within the small brick room, belying the mild spring afternoon outside. After all this time, here he was, and Naruto was going to take him home. He'd spent the past few minutes wearing Sasuke down, and his voice was becoming more and more emotional, something in his eyes was fading. His Sasuke was returning.

"No, Naruto, _you_ need to get out, we aren't a team, and I'm _not_ your friend," Sasuke's words were vehement, oozing the venom and loathing that was reminiscent of his bratty twelve year old self, the one Naruto remembered. As horrid as it might be to anyone else's ears, to Naruto it was nostalgic, and overwhelmingly endearing. If only it would last.

_BANG._ The door to Sasuke's private chambers slammed open and there he was, the man responsible for Sasuke defection: Orochimaru. He came to stand at Sasuke's shoulder, eyeing the two of them, and asking his apprentice what was the matter.

"Nothing, they were just leaving," Sasuke informed him, though the waver to his voice, and his choice of words were a mistake.

"Leaving? They'll do no such thing!" Orochimaru bit out.

Naruto wondered if the room was spinning for Sakura, Sai, and Yamato too or if it was just him. He hadn't even had time to tell Orochimaru to fuck off, as he had thought to a minute ago. Suddenly those eyes had been everything, their slit pupils boring through him and making him nauseous and powerless. He'd fallen to his knees, no, flat on his back. His spine was arching against his will, it felt like his eyes were being pushed out of their sockets. Something was filling his throat and he was choking on it, all he could hear was Sasuke's voice, it was forcing its way into his ears. It felt…wrong. Something was wrong, he couldn't…move. His ears were full of cotton; his mouth was rusty and coppery, full of the feeling of sleep. Maybe he should sleep, and all of this would be over. Sleep…

* * *

"Come, Sasuke…this is over."

"Yes, teacher," Sasuke's voice was gone, it was no longer his, now this strange warped thing. Sakura cried, but through her tears she could see what was happening to him. He was under Orochimaru's control, he was his puppet. That was why…he'd, he'd been talking to them before! They'd almost worn him down! But then they were gone, disappeared out the door and away.

Sakura knelt at Naruto's side, calling to him, trying to force her chakra into him to break through the genjutsu that he had been put under. She couldn't bring him out of it, this was different, this was no ordinary illusion jutsu. She couldn't do this herself. They needed to get Naruto home as soon as possible. They needed Tsunade-sama.

Pushing her chakra into her arms and legs she took the writhing, tense Naruto into her arms and hurried out of the base, Sai and Yamato on her heels.

* * *

Tsunade was…tired. She had spent the past five days working on a way to bring Naruto out of the genjutsu put on him by her old teammate. But nothing she had tried so far had worked. She'd gotten little over four hours of sleep and that was when she'd been forced to take 'breaks' by Shizune. She slept for all of twenty minutes before she couldn't stay asleep any longer and had to get working again. It seemed that as she was trying to bring Naruto out of it she was being met with a resistance that had far more strength than any technique she'd ever encountered. She was finally coming upon a theory as to the reason behind its potency but she didn't like it.

Naruto didn't want to come out of it. He was staying under because he wanted to be there, something in the genjutsu was keeping him from waking up, from reacting to the counteractive measures she was taking. A wall had gone up and locked her out, but there was still something going on behind that wall that she couldn't see or reach. But she couldn't give up, she had to keep trying. That brat had to replace her someday, and he had no time to hide away and skip out on training like this.

Tsunade wiped the beginnings of tears from her eyes disguising it as sleep grit in the hopes of satisfying Shizune who was glaring her down. She put her glasses back on, eyes settling on Naruto's limp form. When he'd first arrived they'd had to give him a sedative drip to relax his muscles, if his spine was allowed to arch in that manner for much longer his muscles would freeze up and he'd risk further damage. All they could do was relieve the genjutsu's hold on Naruto's body and limit it to his mind where they could further combat it until it relinquished control completely. The way he looked now, it was like he was sleeping.

Pulling a stool to the side of his bed, Tsunade sat down; skimming through a few scrolls she'd plucked from the library shelves. Whatever was going on in Naruto's brain (however small it may be) would be discovered in due time. She'd find a way to bring him back. She owed the brat. Tsunade would move heaven and earth.

* * *

Sakura entered the room only to find a team of medic-nins lined up against the wall, silent and Tsunade sitting next to a suddenly awake Naruto.

"Tsunade-sama! Why didn't you tell me he'd woken up?" Sakura shuffled over to the opposite side of the bed from her teacher, resting a hand over Naruto's though really she wanted to pull him into a suffocating bear hug.

"Naruto," Tsunade ignored her, "do you know this girl?"

"Huh, no, I don't know you either! _What_ kind of accident?" Naruto's voice was strange, and babyish. Sakura stared blankly at Naruto, her mouth opening. Tsunade held up a hand and said, 'Sakura, please wait outside a minute.'

Her mouth closed, Sakura stood, albeit shakily, and returned to the hallway where she leant up against the wall, sliding down to the floor. She hugged her knees to her chest and watched as the hospital staff passed her by. How could…how could this happen?

* * *

Naruto had no idea where he was. He'd woken up in this strange room where everything was white and smelled clean. The sun was bright outside and a gentle breeze was blowing in through the window. He was wearing a white dress with grey dots all over it and there was a lady sitting next to him talking to him. She had a big chest and long blond hair in pig tails. Her face was heart shaped and nice, if not a bit pained and tired. There was also a group of people he didn't know lined up against the wall opposite him wearing white uniforms, they were watching him intently and it made him nervous and itchy. He scratched at his arm.

"Naruto, can you hear me?"

"Yeah, what's going on? Who are those people?"

"Naruto…?"

"What?!" he grouched, "who are those people?"

"They're some low rank medic-nins helping me with your case, they're here to learn," the lady's face grew pinched and tense as she asked him, "do you know who I am?"

"Nuh uh, where am I? What's going on?"

"You're in the hospital, Naruto," the lady said, "you had an accident."

"An accident? What kind?"

The door to the room opened and a girl he didn't know walked in, she had short pink hair and blue eyes. When she saw him her face lit up with the nicest smile he'd ever seen. He decided he liked her plenty, and not this weird pinch faced lady. The girl came and sat down on his left and took his hand. He wanted to pull it away because he didn't like holding hands with somebody he didn't know.

"Tsunade-sama, why didn't you tell me he'd woken up?" the girl asked the pinch-face lady. Tsunade was her name? Naruto wanted to giggle, that was a silly name.

"Naruto," Tsunade asked him, "do you know this girl?"

Naruto shook his head, getting tired of this all questions no answers business.

"Huh, no, I don't know you either! What kind of accident?"

Tsunade and the pink haired girl stared at each other, something passing between them that Naruto didn't understand. Then Tsunade asked her (Sakura) to wait outside, and the girl stood and left the room.

"Tsunade is a silly name," Naruto said, finally giggling.

"How old are you, Naruto?"

"Seven!" he answered angrily, "Why aren't you answering me? What kind of accident?"

"You fell out of a tree and hit your head; we're trying to establish what you still remember."

Oh, Naruto pouted, that was why his head hurt? He scratched his head and laughed at the idea of falling out of a tree. That was so dumb. Tsunade put her hand on his hand and Naruto wanted to jerk away, but her face was just so sad.

"Naruto do you remember…falling out of the tree?" she asked him.

"No."

"What's your name?"

"Naruto!"

"No, I meant your full name."

"Naruto Uzumaki."

"And you're seven years old?"

"Yeah!"

"Do you remember where you lived?"

"Um…"

"Do you remember any people, any names besides your own?"

Naruto stared at Tsunade and her sad, pinched face. He had to remember somebody, he knew lots of people, he was sure of it. It was on the tip of his tongue, like he knew the answers to these questions, he _knew_ them, he just couldn't think of them at the moment. Maybe if she gave him more time. He grumbled and kicked his feet under the blankets of the bed he was in.

"Naruto-"

"No! I know the answer, I do, I just, I can't, you're not being fair!"

"I'll give you some more time to think about it, okay?"

"Mm'kay," he mumbled.

"In the mean time, while you're thinking about it, would you mind if Sakura came in to see you?"

"No hand holding," Naruto blurted, "but okay!"

Tsunade nodded, slowly rising from her seat. She told the 'medic-nins' at the wall to leave the room, that they were dismissed for the day. Then she opened the door to the room and left, shutting it quietly behind her.

* * *

Sakura had been staring at the opposite wall without realizing it when the medic-nins burst from the room, chattering excitedly, Tsunade coming out far less jubilant. Sakura felt Tsunade sit down next to her more than she saw her, after all, her eyes were still riveted to the wall. Tsunade let a hand fall on her shoulder and squeeze gently.

"It doesn't look like he remembers anything, except for his name, and his age," Tsunade said crisply, as detached as Sakura felt she was.

"He doesn't…even remember me?"

"No."

Sakura swallowed, her mouth feeling dry and uncooperative from having not talked for the twenty or so minutes she'd been sitting on the floor in the hallway.

"He wouldn't mind if you went in and visited him," Tsunade sighed, "but there's something you need to know, Sakura."

"What? What more could there be?"

"He thinks that he's seven years old."

"So he's a retard now?!" she shrieked, unable to keep her voice down, "He doesn't remember anything, and he's freakin'-"

"No, he's just…younger."

"But you _just_ said-"

"I said, he thinks he's seven years old, I did not say he was retarded, Sakura. My guess is he is just as smart now as he was when he was seven. But for now, since he's woken up, there's nothing I can do. This is in psych's hands now. Later this afternoon we can have Ino and her father come in, and try to work with him. But other than that…there's nothing we can do."

"No, this isn't, this can't be…" Sakura stuttered, "I mean, this is Naruto we're talking about, right? This can't happen, he'll come out of it, he'll get better."

"Sakura, there is a very likely chance, that he won't-"

"No!" She was crying, where had the tears come from? She wasn't crying a second ago, "He'll get better! He'll get better! He'll get better!"

"Sakura would you like to come to my office and calm down…?"

"No!"

Tsunade scooted in front of her and took her into her arms. No, she couldn't be comforting her because there was no reason, Naruto would get better. Everything was fine, there was no reason for consolation, Sakura _had_ her consolation and it was that this wouldn't last. Naruto would wake up tomorrow, or this weekend maybe and he would be back to normal. He would be embarrassed when he found out that he'd acted like a little kid, and she would tease him that it was no different than usual. Everything would be fine!

"Hey you, go find Hatake for me would you? Tell him to get here asap, no diversions or I'll have his head on a platter before he can finish talking to whatever animal he comes up with this time!"

Sakura leant against Tsunade, tired. Her teacher rubbed her back and combed her hand through her hair. Sometime in all of this she heard another voice near her ear.

"Sakura, come here," said the voice. She wasn't in Tsunade's arms anymore, but she was in someone else's. She looked up and saw a familiar masked face, one eye staring down at her stoically.

"Take her home, she should be with her family right now," Tsunade ordered.

"No! I want to, I want to see him," Sakura mumbled weakly, "I want to see him."

"Sakura you should really get some rest-"

"No! He said he wouldn't mind if I visited, I'm going to visit," Sakura growled, "if he doesn't remember anything he's probably lonely and confused and bored out of his skull, he should have _someone_ to talk to."

"Tsunade, what exactly happened?" Kakashi set Sakura down and she stumbled blearily over to the door, wiping at her eyes.

"Naruto woke up, but-"

Sakura didn't stay around for the rest of that sentence, letting herself into Naruto's room and shutting the door behind her. Naruto perked up, having been staring out the window, leaning against the railing on his bed. When he saw her he smiled brightly, but drew his hands into his lap and interlaced his fingers like he was holding his own hand.

"Sorry you've been alone all this time, it was rude of us not to have someone stay in here with you," Sakura started, coming to sit down in the chair she'd occupied before. Naruto watched her curiously and then shook his head.

"It's okay, I was thinking," he said.

Sakura stared at him a moment, wondering what there was to say to that other than, "What were you thinking about?"

_Too late._ It was already out of her mouth.

"Tsunade asked me if I remember any people, or any names besides my name, but she asked so fast I couldn't answer! So she's giving me time to think about it."

"I see," she hummed, "have you thought of anyone?"

Naruto grumbled, returning his gaze to the view out of the window on the other side of the room, "_No_."

"Well," Sakura forced a smile onto her face, "my name is Sakura, so now you know a name other than your own."

"But I knew Tsunade, her name is silly," Naruto smiled though it was clear he was bothered by not being able to remember any on his own, "and I knew yours too, cuz she said it. But I think Sakura is silly on you too."

_Yeah, and Naruto is silly on you, now we're _all_ silly, hurraaaaay_, Sakura really wanted to say something rude to him, something teasing but she kept it to herself. This wasn't her Naruto, she couldn't treat him like anything other than a little kid.

"Sakura means cherry blossom, right?"

"Huh?" Sakura stared at him, following his gaze out the window to a cherry blossom tree that was just barely visible from their vantage point, "Yes, it does."

"Your hair is pink even, like a cherry blossom!"

"Yeah…" Sakura wondered where this could be going, "it's why my parents named me Sakura, is because of my hair."

"I'm going to call you Flower girl!"

"...okay," _just go with it, girl, just go with it_.

"Cuz your hair is the same color as a flower!"

Naruto looked to her eagerly for approval of this name, and he was so excited Sakura felt like she would be a horrible person if she didn't approve.

"Now I have a name I can remember that's just my name for someone!"

_Ah_.

"Yeah! That'll show Tsunade," Sakura laughed, "she won't know what to do now."

Though she'd been mostly sarcastic, Naruto hadn't seemed to notice; he laughed too, "Yeah!"

* * *

Later in the afternoon after Sakura had talked with him for hours and generally tired him out, Ino and her father Inoshi were brought in to see him. They gave him enough sedative to knock him out and allow them to search through his mind for any memories that they might be able to bring to the surface. But every time they went digging too deep past blurry images of a boy with black hair, and a man with snakes, they hit a wall. They worked for several hours until, both exhausted; they had to return home after delivering the less than stellar news to Tsunade.

Sakura sat next to Naruto's bed, and when he woke up after the ordeal he was happy to see her. She would stay the night but as Tsunade had said earlier, she really should be with her family. They would have heard the news by now, and would be worried about her. At least, her mother would be, her father would tell her it was expected in her 'line of work' and she should get over it.

"I'll be back to see you in the morning, okay?" Sakura assured him.

"Okay, good night flower girl! Thank you for staying with me before," Naruto said through a wide-mouthed yawn.

"Good night, Naruto," she pressed a kiss to his forehead and left.

* * *

_They were playing good guys and bad guys, good guys and bad guys. All afternoon long in a field that went on forever under a bright blue sky with white cotton ball clouds. Then he came to get them and he took them for dinner. Where was she? A family almost complete._

Naruto woke up in the hospital when the sun just barely spilling through the window and onto the floor. The sky was grey with that odd pre-dawn light that seemed so strangely empty. He stretched and yawned, wondering when Flower girl would show up. She'd said she'd see him in the morning. It was morning then.

There was another bed in the room, to the right of him, but it was empty. There were footsteps outside his room but none stopped next to his door and no one opened his door to peer in and check up on him. If he was important enough to make such a fuss over, Naruto figured that there should be someone to check up on him. He slouched in his bed, crossing his arms over his chest. He wanted to color. He looked around him, trying to figure out if there was a way to get someone to talk to him. There was a red button attached to the wall, flower girl had told him yesterday that it would call people if he pressed it. Naruto reached out and pushed the button, thinking that it would call people. It did, it called a lot of people.

Lots of people in white clamored into the room and were shouting things frantically at first and then angrily and exasperatedly a second later. Some of them even started yelling at Naruto, and he held his arms up in front of his face to block the yells.

"I just wanted to talk to somebody!" he cried over the commotion.

"What on earth is going on here?!" a stern voice bellowed over the rest.

"That brat pressed the code button!"

"Everyone out, everyone out!"

Soon all of the white uniformed people left, leaving only Tsunade standing there looking just as tired as when he saw her yesterday. She eyed Naruto wearily, approaching his bed and ultimately taking a seat on the stool to the right of him. She rested her elbows on the edge of the bed, setting her chin on her folded hands. Then she was quiet, looking at Naruto as if she were waiting for something.

"Was that a bad button?" Naruto finally asked.

"It can be, it's only supposed to be pushed when someone in the room is in a lot of trouble and could die, it's bad if you push it and nothing's wrong."

"Oh," Naruto slouched, "I thought it would call people for me to talk to."

"No, that's what this is for," Tsunade picked up a strange oblong device from the nightstand next to his bed, it had a bunch of different buttons on it, she pointed to the blue one at the top.

"Okay." Naruto took the button from her and held it in his lap.

"Did you just want someone to talk to?"

"I wanted to color."

"I think we can have that arranged," Tsunade chuckled.

* * *

Sakura sat next to Naruto, watching him color. It was late in the afternoon of the sixth day younger Naruto had arrived. He had endured so many 'tests' that day that it was a miracle he had enough energy to sit up and finish even one picture in his new coloring book let alone two or three as he had managed to accomplish so far.

Tsunade, as calm as she had beena few days ago, was violently refusing to let Naruto's case be transferred to psych so quickly. She had Inoshi attempt a few more searches for memories. A psychiatrist had come in and talked with Naruto for a bit, and only confused him and made him cry. Sakura, who had been protective of her friend already, chased the man from the room and told him to not come back. Then Tsunade had tried to tell Naruto stories of events he'd actually experienced, substituting names here or there, to see if it could jog his memory at all. It hadn't, it had mildly amused him for a time, until he fell asleep during one story and Tsunade gave up. The psych ward, while also under Tsunade's jurisdiction as head medic-nin, was pressing for control of the case and could otherwise overpower her if they submitted their plea to the counsel.

With the bias of the village delighting at the chance to call the kyuubi's jailor crazy, and psych knocking on Tsunade's door every minute of the day, it was a wonder the woman hadn't snapped yet. In her own way she was tearing at the seams and Sakura could tell. She didn't want to give up either, she wanted to help Naruto get better, and she wanted to get her Naruto back. But she wasn't sure it was possible. Even though she knew she wanted this strange younger Naruto to go away and give her back her friend, Sakura also knew that protecting _this_ Naruto was now her first priority. Keeping him here at the hospital where he was tested for this and that, forced to try and remember a life he couldn't even imagine, was not good for him. If anything it just scared him and made him shut them out even more.

"What do you think flower girl?" Naruto asked her, showing a picture he'd just completed. It was a picture of two puppies chasing each other. He'd colored them obnoxiously neon colors that clashed in a way that made the puppies look radioactive.

"It's very nice Naruto, though I think that the puppies don't appreciate all that toxic waste on their fur."

Naruto giggled at her and turned the page, prepped to start on yet another picture. He was so excited to finally be allowed to color after all those tests that he was fighting off sleep so he could make up for lost time. Sakura knew he'd be regretting it the next day. The door opened and Tsunade peered in.

"Sakura, can I talk to you for a moment?"

"Sure, I'll be right back Naruto," Sakura stood up and stretched before joining Tsunade in the hallway.

Her teacher leant against the door after she'd shut it, and crossed her arms over her chest. Sakura just wished the poor woman could get some sleep; she looked even more tired than she did that morning.

"Anything today?"

"No, Tsunade-sama, but-"

"Yes, Sakura?"

"…but I think that we should start considering the possibility of relocating him."

"Relocate him where?" Tsunade snapped.

"I haven't decided yet but I was thinking the sanatorium might be our best bet," Sakura saw Tsunade's lips twist into a scowl, so she said, "I'm not saying we should give up, I'm saying that right now, stressing him out, keeping him in a place that is filled with people poking and prodding him is going to do no good. We would do well to move him some place more comfortable."

"But you are saying he won't get better any time soon, you don't think I can help him?"

Sakura sighed, eyeing her teacher with no small amount of trepidation as she said, "No, I don't think you can, I don't think anyone can."

**TBC...**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hee:** This revamp is fer srs, I'm loving writing it. Enjoy you guys, I hope it's actually an improvement from the original.

**Sweet Parody**

Chapter 2 - By the lungful

* * *

"And here is your room," Miss Martha announced while opening the plain white door.

Naruto peeked in, letting his eyes fall on everything trying to find something he wouldn't like. He took a step in, past Miss Martha, wondering if she'd shut the door behind him and lock him in forever. The very thought made him want to throw himself out of this place as fast as he could. But when the door remained open and flower girl came in with him, his panic vanished. It was a nice room, he decided. Much nicer than the one in the hospital.

This room had a large area rug on the floor, a table with comfy chairs, and a bed that looked like a _real_ bed. A bookshelf and a desk were wedged into the corner on the far side of the room, next to an arm chair that looked far too nice to be in a sanatorium.

Naruto scurried over to the bed and flopped down on it, relieved to find a mattress far softer and comfortable than he'd slept on at the hospital. Flower girl smiled down at him and took a seat on the edge of the bed.

"I'll leave you to get settled in."

The door shut and Naruto yawned. He curled up on the bed and listened for any sound outside his room. There was some noise but it was distant and not nearly as bothersome as the sound of the hospital. It was quieter here, nicer, not as many people and he got his own room where he wouldn't be fussed over. Naruto liked it here.

"Will they run tests on me here?" Naruto asked.

"Tsunade might want to do-"

"I hate her," Naruto blurted, then adding, "sorry."

Flower girl arched an eyebrow at him incredulously and scolded, "Naruto, it's not nice to say things like that, she's just trying to help you get your memories back."

"She's not helping she's making it worse."

"Either way, she has good intentions and you shouldn't hate her because she certainly doesn't hate you, far from it."

"Did I know her, flower girl?"

"What?"

"Did I know her before my accident?"

Naruto rolled over and gazed up at flower girl who was avoiding his eyes, "Did I?"

"She was like a grandmother to you, you were very close," Flower girl said stiffly, eyes trained on the door.

"Should I call her grandma?"

"I don't know, why don't you ask her?"

"Okay," Naruto smiled, wiggling his way to flower girl's side. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed his face against her hip. She ran her hands through his hair, scratching lazily at his scalp.

"Flower girl."

"Hmm?"

"Did I know you?"

The head rub paused a moment before picking up again as Sakura said, "Naruto, not now."

"I knew you, didn't I?"

"Naruto," when he looked up at her, Flower girl was making her best sad face, and Naruto let it go. Soon he fell asleep in his new room.

* * *

Time passed as Naruto grew accustomed to this new life where time before the mysterious 'accident' fell away, and he lived with a group of other children at the sanatorium. Flower girl became his world, and though he'd only met her the day he woke up, quickly she became everything to him. She visited him, attended group activities with him, and brought plenty of friends to visit.

Slowly over the course of several months Naruto was introduced to all of Flower girl's friends: Ino, Shikamaru, Chouji, Hinata, Kiba, Shino, Sai, Yamato, Kakashi, Rock Lee, Neji, Ten-Ten, Iruka, and Jiraiya. Though, granted, Naruto didn't like Sai very much, or Neji, he liked everyone else. Flower girl had nice friends. Jiraiya became like a grandpa to him as much as Tsunade had become his grandma. Sometimes, they would take him out to lunch with Flower girl and Iruka and Kakashi. It was like spending the day with his whole family. That's what they were, his family. Kakashi was strange, and sometimes cold, he had a way of saying something as a joke that was mean and left you wondering if he'd meant it to hurt or not and Naruto didn't like it. But something told him he should like Kakashi and he did, even if he made him extremely uncomfortable. Iruka was like a second Flower girl he was so nice. He visited whenever he could and seemed to care in that motherly, non-suffocating way that Flower girl did. Tsunade had become much nicer once she'd stopped trying to run tests on him all the time though she always seemed a bit sad even when she was really happy.

The rest, like Ino and Shikamaru, only showed up occasionally, because they were much busier. But it was never more than a few weeks in between their visits. Flower girl had given up mission work for the sake of working at the hospital so that she could come and visit him whenever she wanted.

Naruto settled into a routine of attending group activities, and visiting with his makeshift family and flower girl's friends. Time slipped away easily and without much notice. Life didn't change much, until Flower girl brought a new friend to visit.

* * *

"Where's Naruto?"

Sakura ignored the question again. She'd lost count how many times Sasuke had asked her that as she hadn't intended on answering and it seemed like he didn't know any other words. Granted, the fact that she'd shushed Sai and Kakashi about the matter had probably piqued his curiosity. Sakura had decided a mile or two back that she didn't care if he was curious or not, it wasn't up for discussion.

"Sakura, are you planning on ignoring me all the way back to Konoha?"

She ignored that too, keeping her eyes on the path straight ahead. Sakura heard Sasuke sigh, and upon hearing no further questions she allowed herself an inward sigh of relief. They'd gone and found Sasuke upon hearing about his escape from Orochimaru's control. It had been surprisingly easy and no doubt had been blind luck on their part. He'd been planning on locating certain people with whom to form a new team that might aid him in tracking his older brother and allowing his hasty murder. After that Sakura had no idea what his plans might be, but she didn't care anymore.

It was Sasuke who had taken away Naruto. If he hadn't run off, Naruto wouldn't have chased after him. If he hadn't defected and joined Orochimaru, then Naruto wouldn't have followed and been put under the genjutsu that changed him for the rest of his life. Any remote nostalgia Sakura might feel wasn't worth Sasuke finding Naruto and messing him up even more. He was a criminal just like any other, and he would see his punishment.

"So why come all the way out here to 'rescue' me if you won't even look at me, let alone talk to me?"

That was it.

Sakura whirled around and marched her way over to Sasuke, meeting his lazy scowl with an impassive expression, "First of all we weren't rescuing you, we were capturing you, you're an s-rank criminal in the bingo book. Second, whether or not I look at you or talk to you does not matter, no amount of petty memories will affect this mission."

Sasuke smirked at her, "You really believe all that?"

"Yes I do, now you can smirk all you want but if I hear so much as _one_ more word out of you I will rip out your tongue myself."

Sasuke's gaze turned dispassionate though his mouth did not open and the smirk left his lips. Sakura turned away from him and returned to the front of the group, renewing their brisk pace, eventually leading them into the trees to make better time. The rest of the way back to Konoha, Sasuke did not talk unless absolutely necessary and those were the shortest sentences Sakura had ever heard.

Upon their arrival home, Sasuke was delivered directly to Tsunade, and from her then to the council elders. Sakura made her way from the hokage's tower to her small apartment located near the hospital for a much needed shower before she headed over to see Naruto. She was almost there when she recognized Kakashi's chakra signature behind her.

"What do you want, Kakashi?" she asked, her voice clipped.

"He has every right to know about Naruto, and you know that."

"He has _no_ right, and I won't have him so much as touching Naruto with a ten foot pole, he's done enough damage already."

"Sakura-"

"No, Kakashi, now if you'll excuse me, I really need to get cleaned up before I head over to the sanatorium, tell me how Sasuke's execution goes, will you?"

Leaving him on her porch, Sakura shut the door in her old sensei's face, locking the door. The lock was an almost frivolous precaution against Kakashi, it wouldn't stop him. She was far too lazy to set up any sort of sophisticated trap or alarms, and she knew that was probably unbecoming of an experienced kunoichi. But she just didn't have the energy these days. She shuffled down the hall into her bedroom to grab a change of clothes before wandering into the bathroom to take a shower. Here was a perfect reason why she didn't miss going on extended missions. Being out in the wilderness, not getting the comfort of indoor plumbing, that was a drag. Sakura was definitely meant to be a modern woman.

After her shower Sakura grabbed her purse and left the apartment. She hadn't seen Naruto in over a week, and though she'd left him in the more than capable hands of Iruka, she was still a little worried about him. She didn't get to the sanatorium however; she was stopped by one of Tsunade's on-call ANBU. They informed her that Tsunade had demanded her presence in the hokage's tower and she was not to refuse her. Sakura grumbled and changed directions, taking to the rooftops to save time.

When she crawled through Tsunade's window and came to stand before her desk she was more than a little exasperated.

"You wanted to see me Tsunade?"

The aging hokage glanced up from her paperwork and nodded gesturing for Sakura to take a seat. She did so, albeit a bit reluctantly, sitting stiffly in the proffered chair. Tsunade shook her head.

"Sasuke's hearing has not yet ended but-"

"They're having a hearing?!" Sakura screeched, "Why didn't they just take him out back and slit his throat and call it done? Certainly his defection and all that he's done to Konoha would merit-"

"Sakura! Calm yourself!" Tsunade ordered, and she fell silent, though that did not keep her from seething inwardly.

"Though the hearing has not ended yet, I have heard that they are not considering an execution," Tsunade started, keeping Sakura hushed with a single scolding look, "they are intending to impose certain restrictions upon him, but for the most part he will be allowed to rejoin Konoha without any major hindrances."

"Will he be allowed to remain a nin of Konoha?" Sakura bit out.

"I don't know yet, it isn't certain. If he is it won't be right away and he'll have to earn it."

"He shouldn't be allowed to earn it; I don't understand why he's not in prison, let alone still alive."

"I've told you all I know for the time being. It would be wise for you to calm down, and go visit Naruto, forget this mess. I'll contact you when the hearing is over."

"Fine," Sakura spat, gracelessly climbing back out the window.

She leapt from rooftop to rooftop until she reached the sanatorium. Landing in front of the lobby doors, Sakura made her way to the front desk and signed herself in. The receptionist greeted her kindly but didn't hold her up with small talk. It was probably the less than joyous expression on her face that clued the woman in.

Walking to Naruto's room was mindless by now having visited him countless times. So Sakura was free to brood and rage inwardly about Sasuke's lack of punishment. Was it because he was an Uchiha and traitor or not he was welcome in Konoha simply so they had something to brag about? That was sinking to a new low in Sakura's opinion. She hadn't even thought of what the repercussions might be when she first left to obtain Sasuke and bring him home. She'd thought that Tsunade had issued the mission in the hopes of keeping him from joining up with Akatsuki and wreaking further havoc. But now that they were home and the council wasn't even thinking of holding an execution, Sakura had her doubts. Kakashi had wanted her to tell Sasuke about Naruto, and Tsunade hadn't seemed to mind at all about the lax treatment Sasuke was receiving from the council…

Sakura knocked on the door to Naruto's room. After she heard a muffled 'come in' she opened the door and shuffled into the room. Naruto was seated at the table, drawing yet again. He switched from coloring in coloring books to actually drawing his own pictures quite often. Sakura found that he was getting better and better even though every picture he finished was clearly the work of a seven year old boy. She collapsed into the chair opposite him at the table. Naruto looked up at her worriedly.

"Are you okay flower girl?"

"I'm okay, just very tired."

Naruto didn't look like he believed her but he didn't say anything to that effect and Sakura was thankful. For the moment she just wanted to be with him and to relax.

* * *

Sasuke popped his back as soon as he was out of the room. He stretched and yawned, relieved to have at least one wall separating him from the stuffy old council members. He'd loathed them when he was younger and he still loathed them now, if only because they were still just as boring. At that moment there were only a few things that Sasuke Uchiha wanted: 1. He wanted to be rid of the abhorrent chakra absorbing shackles on his wrists and ankles, 2. He wanted a nice, long shower, and 3. He wanted to find out what was going on with Naruto.

The first time he questioned his ex-teammate's absence he hadn't cared, only slightly interested in why the clingy brat hadn't been there for his successful capture. Usually Naruto clung to him like shit to a sheep's ass, refusing to let go of him no matter what. But the third time Konoha had sent nin out after him Naruto had not been with them. Where else would he be? Then, however, no one had answered him, he'd asked again and when Sai (his replacement) had tried to reply Sakura had silenced him with a glare. Ultimately his nagging inquiry had ended with a threat to remove his tongue, a threat Sasuke had no doubt Sakura intended to follow through on. Where was Naruto? What was going on that was so horrible it was unspeakable?

An ANBU guard appeared at his shoulder, shoving him roughly forward, instructing him to get a move on. They needed to be in Tsunade's office five minutes ago. It took quite some time to get there because with his limited chakra he couldn't force any into his legs to try and leap through the air like the ANBU were free to do. That and his ankles were linked and he didn't fancy hopping anywhere like a bunny. As they maneuvered through town Sasuke was interested in the looks he received. There were some small children who looked at him, pestered their mothers for a minute until they were heavily scolded and turned away from him. The rest of the people, who saw him either spat at him, cursed him, or avoiding glancing in his direction all together. He knew he wasn't in good favor with the general population but he hadn't thought it was this bad. There were plenty of traitors out there, what was so bad about him in particular?

Once in the hokage tower it was a matter of getting him up the stairs with his feet restrained as they were. A ten minute climb up stairs turned into a half hour long expedition. Eventually they did reach Tsunade's office, and she did not look all that interested in their arrival. It took her a few minutes to acknowledge their existence.

"Set him down in the chair and stand outside the door," she ordered.

Sasuke was 'set down' in the single chair resting in front of Tsunade's desk and his escorts left them alone. The hokage propped her elbows up on her desk and leant her chin on her folded hands. A few hand seals later and the room was soundproofed, the windows shut. Sasuke arched an eyebrow at her, intrigued by her precaution.

"I want to make something clear to you, Uchiha," she started, "your life rests solely in _my_ hands, and if you cannot cede to my demands then it will end."

Sasuke nodded to show he understood, and in turn motioning for Tsunade to continue.

"The reason I had you brought back here was to help me with Naruto's case, I gave up any hope of being able to help him myself, but lately I've been thinking that he isn't _beyond_ help entirely, just beyond mine. _You_ can help him."

"Hokage," Sasuke iterated, "what happened to him?"

"Two years ago he was put under a genjutsu that lasted five days, and in order to protect his body and mind from any further damage all of his memories were repressed and in turn…he mentally regressed to the age of seven," Tsunade's words were clipped and weary as if she'd had to say them too many times, and no matter how often she said it, it still hurt.

Sasuke stared at her, wondering if this was the part where Kakashi, Sakura, and Naruto leapt out of Tsunade's closet and yelled, 'Surprise! Gotcha!' Maybe a camera would appear and take his picture, to forever immortalize the single moment where Sasuke Uchiha looked…surprised.

But as the silence hung in the air, stagnant and thick, making every lungful burn him inside, there were no cameras. No Kakashi, no Sakura, and no Naruto. There was just Tsunade, awaiting a response of some kind, one he wasn't sure he could manage. He, Sasuke _Uchiha_ was at a loss for words. Even when he opened his mouth all that came out was a strangled noise that didn't sound like anything remotely dignified.

"Imagine what you're feeling, imagine it never going away, _and imagine_ feeling that every day, for two years."

Sasuke couldn't imagine it. He couldn't and he didn't want to. He hadn't realized he'd been staring at the floor until he looked up at the hokage and found her sighing, her eyes riveted to the paperwork adorning her desk. This…this was crazy. Naruto didn't just…fade away, like this. He didn't give up, he didn't lose himself. What kind of rival was he if he just…disappeared?

"Now, Naruto doesn't remember anything from before he woke up in the hospital after the genjutsu. But he has had nightmares about a man with snakes…and a boy with black hair he thinks he used to know. It's not much, but it's all I've got. Maybe if you spend time with him you can trigger some memory recall."

Sasuke gawked at her, "Tsunade, you know how much of a long shot that is, there's no way that if he's repressed his memories for this long I can bring some back just by hanging around him."

"I _know_, don't you _think_ I know?!" Tsunade screeched, the drastic change in volume causing Sasuke to jump in his seat, annoyed that he'd let himself be so easily startled.

"I've lost too much, Uchiha, and if I have any chance, any at all that I might be able to get that brat back I'll take it, no matter if it's a 'long shot' or not!"

Sasuke kept his mouth shut, waiting for the hokage to calm herself and retake her seat. When she did, Sasuke broke the silence once more, blindly hoping she'd take some sort of pity on him.

"With all due respect, Hokage, I don't think I can do what you're asking me-"

"Then you are of no use to me," she spat, "would you rather have the ANBU perform your execution or the hateful villagers outside?"

"Hokage, please you've seen him like this, you know how hard it is, can't you-"

"Exactly why I have no sympathy for you, you're the reason he's this way in the first place, if you hadn't run off he wouldn't have chased you and fallen under that forsaken genjutsu, and he'd still be here!"

Sasuke shifted awkwardly in his chair. Why out of all of the people in his life did Naruto have remember only him? To torture him of course, to grate on his nerves, that's all Naruto had ever done. Sasuke didn't really care one way or the other if Naruto was crazy or not. He cared about whether or not Tsunade decided to sick a village full of hateful civillians with torches and pitchforks on him. If he lived there was always the slight chance that he could escape and one day carry out his life's ambition. He couldn't very well avenge his clan if he was dead too. Sasuke sat rigid in his chair, glaring at Tsunade for all he was worth but she remained unaffected. Spend time with his old rival and teammate who'd gone crazy because of him, or die? He gave in, feeling severely disgruntled by doing so.

"Where is he?"

"The sanatorium."

Sasuke sighed, "Alright, when do I start?"

"As soon as I get a hold of Hyuuga-sama, you'll be staying with her during your probation," Tsunade informed him, releasing the silencing seals.

"…her?"

"Hinata Hyuuga took over the position of clan head when her father passed away last year, she is the best candidate for being your keeper for the next sixth months."

Sasuke scowled at the term 'keeper' but said nothing. Patience was a virtue he'd never cultivated, but he had a feeling it would be wise to start now. The task of aiding Tsunade in her foolishly hopeful errand, and the prospect of being watched over by Hinata, did not bode well.

**TBC...**


End file.
